Deep Chat

Let's have a deep chat...about the Deep South. Here's a quick run down; pies and coffee, murals, lots and lots of murals and two types of y'alls. If you know me, and know me well enough, you will know that I have a stigma against the south. And it's not for any other reason than I associate all of the south with the state of North Carolina. And trust me, it's not a good association. But, my friends that is another tale. 

What I am here to confess, is that after years of finding fault, and knit picking some of the better states in the southern region, l have some news...I sort of love it.  And by sort of, I mean anxiously awaiting a rose, at the rose ceremony, bachelorette style-kind of love. It hit me hard, and fast, but they say all love is like that. 

It took Memphis and Dallas to officially pull at my heart strings. And why wouldn't they? Two types of south, two different cities, but so much of them represent amazingly different pieces of our country. 

So, all I could think of while stuffing my face with the most deliciously, warm, Nutella filled, cookie pie, was how sad it has been that I have been carrying this stigma with me for so long. 

Can I get real for a moment? 

I think we all know that this had nothing to do with the south. I think we all know that the only way I was ever going to open my eyes was to be cured of the ache I had been carrying around. It's funny what love does to you. It brings out your best, but sometimes only leaves you with your worst self. And it takes a lot of strength to tidy up those pieces of you that aren't your favorite, but at the same time, recognize that they are a part of you. To sit back and say, " yeah you know what? Sometimes I can be a stubborn ass. I refuse to listen. And, maybe I run my mouth a little more than I probably should. I even say negative things even though I feel the complete opposite, because I have to keep up this strong persona, because I don't want to hurt." 

As if things from years ago don't bother me. 

Ha good one.

But, sometimes, oh how they do. And boy, do I feel. 

Why am I not shutting my pie hole, and sharing this, you ask? Yeah, totally a lot easier, and way less scary to just show you pictures of my adventures. But, what's the point of an adventure if you don't learn something? I want you to know, that every place you come across changes you, or fixes you, or opens your mind up to all those possibilities. So, yes, of course there are pictures. What type of blogger would I be? But more importantly I want you strapped in, right next to all my feels. 

So, while on the hunt for these whimsical, and empowering murals that decorate hidden corners of these cities, every fiber in my being wanted to hold those negative feelings over the south, and "he-who-shall-not-be-named (You guys knew this was about a boy, right? K. Just checking)."

I had to stop myself, and take a reality check on the piece of this relationship that had been left behind, and tucked in my inner corners. I had to tell myself that I was more important than the power that his choice still held on the edges of my heart. For a very long time, I blamed what didn't work on his decision to move. And lived with that constant what-if feeling of what would have happened had he stayed.

So, the blame game it was. And like a kindergartner, I took it out on the innocent. The south.

It's just that I didn't even stop to realize that I wasn't hurting him. Who am I to say what's right for someone? And who am I for holding a stigma over places I've never even stepped foot? Yeah, sounds pretty aggressive to me too.

And in reality is wasn't going too change anything. All I was doing was stopping myself from seeing these beautiful, creative, mother effing, hot as hell (I'm talking temp, but the dudes were pretty cute too), cities, and all their "y'all" spitting people had to offer. 

I can't even really say anything to make myself appear less crazy, than I'm currently coming off. I don't think there is even a way to keep my street cred after this post. But screw it. Because I just need for you all to know that the old adage is true; you really do live and learn. 

Oh yeah, and always choose the adventure. Even if it hurts. 

-M

P.S. Here are snaps of my adventures...

Emporium Pies
Muddy's Bake Shop
Meg ZotisComment